I've always been a person that valued truth, reality, and accuracy. It is, therefore, the height of irony that I have been forced to live a lie my entire life. Any number of other words can be used to describe my altered identity, but the bottom line under any flowery language one chooses to use is that my birth certificate and accompanying documentation is a court sanctioned government approved lie.
So how is it false? Well, without the document sitting in front of me I can't be sure of all the inaccuracies, so I will list only those I am sure of: It lists a City in which I was not born as my city of birth. It lists a County in which I was not born as my county of birth. It lists a woman who did not carry me or give birth to me as my mother. It lists a man who did not father me as my father. It lists my name different than that of my birth.
I didn't think a lot about being adopted over the years, it was something that was a part of me and I didn't give it much consideration. I know that probably seems hard to believe now, given my apparent obsession with it, but at the time I had locked the feelings I had away and refused to acknowledge they existed, let alone deal with them. However, I did think about being adopted every time I filled out a background check form for a new job (a common occurrence for someone in law enforcement) or a 4473 to purchase a firearm. The reason I thought about it was because I knew that when I listed my place of birth I was listing a lie. It was however a government approved lie. So, I was expected to list it as the truth and be OK with it. I listed the approved lie because it would have been a lot of trouble to put the true answer and then explain it. I always felt bad for the lie though and wished I didn't have to participate in the dishonesty forced upon me by the state without my consent.
The lies associated with adoption extend far beyond a single falsified state record. Somewhere in a sealed file is a birth certificate that was issued at the time of my birth. It lists my real mother. I know from locating the record of my birth (not the certificate, just the record that doesn't include names) that my father was listed as "unknown". My mom told everyone involved at the time who my father was and assured them it was not possible it could be anyone else. However, in cases of adoption it is much easier to facilitate if the father of the child is unknown. A known father has rights and might assert them. An unknown father can't show up and claim his child, thwarting the adoption. In the case of my "father" they needn't have worried, he had no interest in being a father then and has none now. My original birth certificate lists two names (or I assume it does, I will likely never get to see it). My mom's name and my name. My mom and I are in contact and building a fantastic relationship. However if we went together and asked to see the sealed file the powers that be wouldn't show it to us. There is no one to protect, all the parties listed are known to each other. It doesn't matter, the process must remain secret so the adoption industry can continue its dishonest trade. Adopted people will continue to be denied the rights of every other person born in the US, that is a right to their original birth certificate. So much for equal protection.
Government sponsored paperwork falsehoods are not where the insanity ends however. When I was placed for adoption my ties to my mom were legally severed. When my adoptive parents adopted me a legal bond was created, birth certificates were altered, and I was "titled" in their names "as if born to". That really is what it is like, the ownership was passed along much like a car. I had as much say in the matter as a Buick and apparently title paperwork as well. However, it is the legal severing of ties that is important. Any idiot can tell you that a child born to a woman that also bore me is my brother or sister. However in the convoluted world of legally sanctioned lies my mom is not my mom and my brothers and sisters are not my brothers and sisters. The law says so. Instead, two people with whom I share no blood (and have nothing in common with) hold title to me and ten people who I share blood with, one of whom gave birth to me and four of the others, are not legally related to me at all. There is no question we are related unless you are the state or the courts, then we are nothing at all to each other. It is pure insanity.
Today is the first anniversary of my brother-in-law's death. Unfortunately I never got to meet him and I wasn't there to offer what little comfort I could to my sister, niece, and nephew when he died. I was denied the opportunity to know the man, who was by all accounts a great husband and father and all around good guy. I was denied the opportunity to be there for my family and grieve with them upon his passing. I was denied these things because I was denied the right to know who I was. I was given falsified papers instead. I knew them to be false, but there was no ability for me under the laws of the state where I was adopted to ever see or get copies of the true and accurate records.
How many important life events do adoptees have to miss, both good and bad before they are treated like every other citizen of the United States? Why are they denied knowing who they really are? The "privacy" politicians claim such laws protect doesn't exist and could never be promised to anyone at the time they relinquish a child.
I'm sorry I couldn't be there for you dear sister, if only I had known...
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